Do you ever go through the emotions that you just aren’t doing it right anymore; that you really aren’t necessary; that if you took a few steps back for awhile, no one would even miss you?
I have absolutely no reason to feel that way, but sometimes I do. It’s not so much things others say to me or things they do–it’s more the way I perceive myself in the big picture.
A discussion goes bad, and now communications are strained at best and non-existent at worst. Over and over the question arises, “What could I have done to assure a different outcome?” My perceptions become skewed, and I blame myself for both sides of the breakdown.
The positions you held are not yours anymore, and while you may be glad to have someone else in those positions, suddenly you feel — I don’t know — unnecessary? lost? empty?
It’s strange. Every now and then I go through these emotions. I don’t share them so that you will feel the need to pat me on the back or encourage me. In a day or two, I’ll be over this and back in my “zone.” Right now, I just feel tired, unnecessary, a bit lonely.