I was extremely interested to know how Cori handled the emotional aspects of carrying someone else’s child and then giving that child away shortly after birth. Her answer, below.
I think this is the most common question I get asked, and for me the answer is easy — the baby is not genetically related to me; therefore it is easy to give the baby back to the parents when he/she is born. That is the short answer; here is the slightly more detailed one and one I use to explain the emotional process to the IPs who are sometimes concerned the surrogate might get too attached to the baby (our contracts are very clear by the way, the baby is NOT the surrogate’s, and they will NOT keep the baby, no matter what they try. Any time you have read where the surrogate keeps the baby, she used her own egg, and is essentially adopting the baby out, but changed her mind).
I tell the parents, “If you have to go out to work after the baby is born; you will find the best possible day care facility for your baby, one where he/she will be loved, nurtured, and taken care of. But at 6pm when you pick up your kid, you expect them to give you your child.” In a nutshell that is how I see being a surrogate — I am in the in-home day care!
Of course I had to go for psychological testing to ensure that emotionally I could handle everything; and there are many women out there who cannot. One of best friends who has six kids told me once, “I could never do that. That baby is in me, it’s mine.” When I reminded her that the baby would not have her genetic material, she said, “Possession is 9/10ths of the law – it’s in me, it’s mine!” She would never make a good carrier!
Now if the baby had been created using my egg, or my husband’s sperm, that would be my baby and I could never give it up! But the babies I carried belong 100% to the parents. I admire women who can give up a baby for adoption but I am not one of them.
People have asked about blood type, etc. That is all determined by the parents’ DNA, and not mine. The placenta and the umbilical cord all develop from the embryo that was implanted, so all I do is provide nutrients through the umbilical cord.
Tell us about your agency.
In 2007 I founded my own agency, Surrogate Angels of San Antonio, because there was a need for a local agency. Clinics were sending their clients to Houston and Dallas to surrogate agencies who were then finding surrogates in San Antonio. I have kept my agency small, and work with local surrogates, but international clients. I have many clients from South America and Mexico, as well as several local couples.
You can find our more about me at www.surrogateangelsofsanantonio.com and also on my FB page http://www.facebook.com/pages/San-Antonio-TX/Surrogate-Angels-of-San-Antonio/80028097546.