Friends Are Friends Forever (or Should Be)

A couple of weeks ago, after connecting with each other other on Facebook, I got together with four other of my classmates from the class of ’72 (North Davidson High School). We spent a fun couple of hours catching up with each other and had a really great time.

This event worked right in conjunction with one of my great desires these days–to reconnect with PEOPLE. I had made a list of things I’d like to accomplish before I get too old to do anything–write, visit Costa Rica, travel with my husband, etc. But most important to me, on a human level, is to renew or maintain my friendships.

So, what better place to start catching up than folks with whom I spent the majority of my youth? I’m hoping we can make a tradition of the gatherings and that the numbers will grow as we continue to meet.

Why do we have to get older to really recognize what’s most important to us? I’m glad I’m finally at a place in my life where I can not only recognize it, but can also do something about it.

My best friend is Vicky. We’ve known each other since the age of eight. We always pick up our conversation right where we left off.

Mother’s Day

I’m glad Mother’s Day is past. It’s not that my children don’t love me or anything, but I think expectations can be so high about what might happen, and then what doesn’t happen… I don’t know–the hype is just too much. It was a weird day for me. I’m glad it’s over. That’s all.

In Memory of Kay

Got a text message from a friend saturday that said, “kay m– had massive stroke. not expected to live.” What? Wait a minute, did i read that right? My friend, kay, was going to die? How could that be? She’s only a few years older than me. She has kids (5, to be exact) and grandkids. She has a husband who adores her. What about her friends, her church…..? This can’t be right–kay isn’t really going to die.

But, in fact, by saturday evening my dear friend kay was home with Jesus, leaving us all standing in a daze, wondering what had just happened.

At her funeral, kay received many fine accolades–all of them deserved. My daughter says that of all the folks we know who have died, she is positive kay is in heaven with Jesus. This woman lived her life for Jesus out loud and in front of the whole world. She never flinched in her love and dedication to Him. She never backed down in the face of opposition–in fact, it made her more determined to stand. Kay was a soft-spoken, highly intelligent woman. She possessed a great amount of common sense, and an equal amount of good humor. She loved to laugh. She chose joy for her life instead of depression, and she overcame adversity on purpose.

I loved this friend of mine, and i am going to miss her. It was very strange to me to stand at the coffin, looking down on her empty body and see her so still, all of her “essence” gone. She was such a jokester, i almost expected at any moment that she’d pop up and yell, “Surprise! Fooled you!” But she didn’t. Instead, she was in heaven, worshipping in person the God she had lived for while on earth and bowing at the feet of the Savior she had trusted with her life for all those years. What a celebration they must be having!

Kay was the person who helped me learn the freedom to be me. You see, as a young woman in the new role of “pastor’s wife,” i had this picture of what i was supposed to be–you know, the picture of serenity, every hair in place, pillbox hat, white gloves, a-line skirt all smooth and perfect. I KNEW i could never live up to that idea i had, so i elected to just be ‘me.’ I wasn’t really sure how that was working, until one day, as i visited my husband at the church, kay took the time to tell me how comfortable she was around me. She told me that because i was so “real” and wasn’t afraid to share my life–warts and all–with folks, that it put them at ease; that i made them feel like they could be ‘normal’ around me and not think they had to put on a mask to hide their true beings. Those words meant so very much to me, and i thanked God for sending kay to me to share them. I will forever be beholden to her for confirming to me what it is church folk need in a pastor’s family.

Yes, i will miss my friend, kay. I’m not the only one who will.

I wrote a little poem once that went like this:

One day my life will be no more
and i wonder,
will anyone knock at my door
to mourn my passing?

Many people knocked at the door of kay’s house and many people are mourning the loss of her physical presence in their lives. At the same time, we rejoice that she is in heaven, with Jesus, and receiving her jeweled crown as a good and faithful servant.

‘Bye for now, kay. See you later. I love you.

missing people

Recently on a fun little questionnaire on Facebook, the question was asked, “Who do you miss?” I thought about that, and honestly, after thinking about it, realized I don’t really miss people and that’s the response I wrote to the question. Now, let me explain, coz I’ve already gotten myself in trouble because of that answer. I have extended family that I see maybe twice a year, sometimes three. I love these family members and I’m always glad to see them. While I don’t sit around missing them the rest of the times I don’t see them, I realize when I do see them that I have indeed missed them. And it’s good to see them and we usually have a good visit.

Some of my family members took exception to the fact that I made that comment. I hope they know that I mean no disrespect to them.

Some of my answer has to do with the fact that my husband and I have lived away from our hometown for most of our married lives. He was in the military when we were first married. Later, he entered the ministry and we moved around a lot. We’ve only been back in our hometown the last eight years. During that time, we’ve had the addition of three grandsons into our lives and lots of responsibility with that. We have spent a great deal of time and expended a good bit of energy helping with the needs of these little guys. Add to that the “sandwich” lives we lead with aging parents requiring a good bit of our time and attention, and well, I just don’t miss people.

Besides, if I get to missing someone, I pick up the phone and call them, or I email them, or text them. Modern technology makes it easy to keep up with people, you know?

I fully understand the importance of family. I love my family. I just don’t miss people. I’m sorry if that offends.