4am Thoughts

In the early morning hours, my mind flips the wake-up switch and is immediately flooded with all sorts of random thought and concerns. At the top of chain most mornings are thoughts of my family and the things that concern them. How will those bills get paid? Are they living wisely and carefully? Are they doing things the way “I” feel they should be done?

I mull these thoughts around for a while, considering solutions to their problems and how I must address the situations. Sounds self-centered, doesn’t it? I mean, after all, who do I think I am? I certainly don’t have all the answers. And as I’ve learned from experience, I am by no means their savior.

Their Savior. Ah, that’s where this all needs to be headed. Push my ego, my “wisdom,”–my way– to the side and give it to the Savior, the One who can truly guide them through their situations.

See, my problem is that I want to see immediate results for my family members. I want them to have what they need when they need it. As I’ve learned in my own life, that doesn’t always happen. So, I just have to leave it with Father God. He always knows best and always does best, even when the results are slower in coming than I’d desire.

The family depends on Dave and me for many things. We provide for some of them a stability that they don’t always experience in extended family circumstances. In some instances, we are the only real family some of them have, due to losses and estrangements. So, we help with daily routine events, we babysit, we provide shelter, we provide funds when absolutely needed. We’ve always been available to all our family; I believe they assume we always will be. Often Dave and I look at each other and ask the question, “What will they do if something happens to us?”

God gave me a clear thought the morning, and I want Him to get the glory for the message.

Our goal must be to teach them how to go on.

We must not always be available–though that sounds selfish to me, somehow. I mean, who doesn’t want to be needed? Who doesn’t want to feel necessary to someone? There’s a fine line that must be drawn between meeting needs and co-dependence, and if I’m honest, I’m still looking for it.

The answer is to help them know they are strong enough and independent enough to move forward and make decisions that don’t have to involve us. (They may think that now and are just too kind to say so.)

The answer is to point them to the God who loves them and will help them make those important decisions for their lives.

The answer is to tell them about the Savior so that their lives will be full of meaning, to know that whatever they do with their lives it must bring glory to Him. We must not take away from the glory they give to God by always being the answer to their every need.

They must learn to go on without us someday, and we must teach them now how to do that. Of course, in some instances, it may be that Dave and I are the answer God gives them to meet an immediate need. But we can’t be their every answer. Our responsibility is to point them to God, who is always the  answer.

Ramblings. What do you expect at 4am?