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My first recognized thoughts about God began when I was around eight or nine years old. It was at that age that I would lie in the grass and stare at the sky and clouds, thinking to myself how beautiful they were and how God had made such a wonderful world. My family did not attend church together. So, besides the yearly Vacation Bible Schools and the occasional Easter service we attended at different area churches, I had no great knowledge about God. Other than the occasional thought about Him, I didn’t consider Him a factor in my life much at all. I knew He existed, but I had no idea of the magnitude of the great I AM.

Yet even though my knowledge and understanding of God was limited, He knew everything about me. Even then, He was watching over my life and preparing me for future ministry for Him.

He had a plan.

My husband has said that some things in our lives just don’t fit neatly with our expectations of God. Suffering is one of the biggies. I don’t have all the answers to the pain in this world, and I have stopped trying to explain why God lets life happen the way it does. When you are a kid and fear, heartache, emotional abandonment, and shame are your closest friends it’s just hard to understand or believe that there is a God and that He loves me. Because I didn’t know much about God, I didn’t sit and pound my pillow and question God’s motives (that happened later, when I’d been a Christian for many years and should have known better).

But inside of me, in the inner me that God “knit together,” there was a stubbornness—a firm decision that I was not going to let the dysfunction that existed around me label me or hold me down. I was determined that I would not be backed up and cemented into a corner. I set my will to not only survive, but to overcome. God put all that inside of me. I didn’t know that it was Him; I just knew that what was happening in my life was not going to define me. I would be something more than my circumstances; I would not be a victim.

There was an empty space inside of me. I longed for something to make me whole, and at times it was almost like the Bible verse, “As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul longs for You” (Psalm 42:1). For years I filled that void with temporary stuff—records I just knew I’d “die” if I didn’t have; trinkets I “needed,” books, and other things. I never experimented with drugs, and was an enemy of all things alcohol, having lived the effects brought to me by those who loved it. I knew my life was missing something and was desperate to move beyond the angst I felt on an almost constant basis. I just didn’t know how to access it; I didn’t know how to fill the “void.”

The summer after my high school graduation a friend returning from their church youth camp event set about witnessing to me in hopes of leading me to Christ. When that friend told me how loved I was by Jesus and what it meant to be a believer in Christ, my heart nearly burst inside of me. This was IT, this was exactly what I was searching for to fill that empty space inside of me, that longing I had for something “more!” That day, as my friend witnessed to me, I asked Christ to save me. I tell you now–without reservation–no matter the circumstances of my life beyond that day, I have never regretted the decision to follow Christ for one moment.

So, how can God use a girl who grew up in a non-Christian, badly dysfunctional home life? Basically, any way He wants. Because God takes the life we live and makes it a story that we share with others, at least for a couple of reasons I can think of:

• to help others in similar life situations; and
• to glorify God with the testimony of His working in our lives.

In the early morning hours, my mind flips the wake-up switch and is immediately flooded with all sorts of random thought and concerns. At the top of the chain most mornings are thoughts of my family and the things that concern them. How will those bills get paid? Are they living wisely and carefully? Are they doing things the way “I” feel they should be done?

I mull these thoughts around for a while, considering solutions to their problems and how I must address the situations. Sounds self-centered, doesn’t it? I mean, after all, who do I think I am? I certainly don’t have all the answers. And as I’ve learned from experience, I am by no means their savior.

Their Savior.

Ah, that’s where this all needs to be headed. Push my ego, my “wisdom,”–my way– to the side and give it to the Savior, the One who can truly guide them through their situations.

See, my problem is that I want to see immediate results for my family members. I want them to have what they need when they need it. As I’ve learned in my own life, that doesn’t always happen. So, I just have to leave it with Father God. He always knows best and always does best, even when the results are slower in coming than I’d desire.

The family depends on Dave and me for many things. We provide for some of them a stability that they don’t always experience in extended family circumstances. In some instances, we are the only real family some of them have, due to losses and estrangements. So, we help with daily routine events, we babysit, we provide shelter, we provide funds when absolutely needed. We’ve always been available to all our family; I believe they assume we always will be. Often, Dave and I look at each other and ask the question, “What will they do if something happens to us?”

God gave me a clear thought this morning, and I want Him to get the glory for the message.

Our goal must be to teach them how to go on.

We must not always be available–though that sounds selfish to me, somehow. I mean, who doesn’t want to be needed? Who doesn’t want to feel necessary to someone? There’s a fine line that must be drawn between meeting needs and co-dependence, and if I’m honest, I’m still looking for it.

The answer is to help them know they are strong enough and independent enough to move forward and make decisions that don’t have to involve us. (They may think that now and are just too kind to say so.)

The answer is to point them to the God who loves them and will help them make those important decisions for their lives.

The answer is to tell them about the Savior so that their lives will be full of meaning, to know that whatever they do with their lives it must bring glory to Him. We must not take away from the glory they should be giving to God by always being the answer to their every need.

They must learn to go on without us someday, and we must teach them now how to do that. Of course, in some instances, it may be that Dave and I are the answer God gives them to meet an immediate need. But we can’t be their every answer. Our responsibility is to point them to God, who is always the answer.

Ramblings. What do you expect at 4am?

We recently held a Women’s Conference at our church. As one of the speakers, my topic was Forgiveness. Here is the video. My part starts at 10:55.

Life has been moving fast and forward for the Wood family.

• In July, Dave and I were gifted with our first great-grandchild, by our first-born grandchild.
• Dave got a great report from his doctor; his PSA levels were super low, indicating that the cancer is still gone. To God be the glory!!
• Our church is back in full swing now, and I’m back to teaching a weekly adult class (I love it!).
• Our women’s ministry is planning for a fall women’s retreat (y’all come!); I am preparing my thoughts, as I will be one of the speakers at the event.
• I’m trying to work on my book–some parts of the story are harder to write than others. The goal is to tell the story truthfully, and with balance. Pray for me.
  • Honesty, for sure
  • God’s presence, always
  • Bitterness, no.
• Projects around the house; getting accomplished slowly. We retired folks don’t rush much these days.
• Lots of crafting/sewing projects in process. Christmas is coming,  you know. And this is so much more fun than the house projects, so . . .
• I am now the proud owner of hearing aids, mostly to address the hearing challenges that come from really loud tinnitus. They are helping a bit, but nothing totally gets rid of the ringing. *sigh*
• I will soon be having cataract surgery on BOTH eyes. (Heavens! When did I get so old?)

Other stuff added to the mix makes for a full life. How about  you? How is God filling your life these days?

Bible verse for the day: “So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who are of the household of the faith.” -Galatians 6:10

Let us do good to all people. Have a good day, folks!

Our friend, Jim Watson, wrote an excellent book that addresses addiction and proven methods to transform your life through the power of Christ. He speaks from his personal experience with addiction and the many years it took to develop this program and his work with addicts of every type.

Having had loved ones who suffered with various types of addiction, I can only say that I wish I had this many years ago when dealing with it and being able to offer this type of wisdom to help them fight their battles. I encourage you to purchase this book. It will not only help you to help the ones you love, but you may even see yourself in some of the pages to help you overcome other types of bondage. Seriously, I am on my third reading. You\’ll be glad you made the investment.

Simply click on the picture of the book cover, and it will take you to Amazon to make your purchase. Thanks!

I recently subscribed to a program designed to help improve my writing skills. It checks grammar, punctuation, and voice, among other aspects. I dropped an article into the program and implemented all the changes it suggested. After completing that process and re-reading the article, I discarded the corrected post, because it left me with a bad taste in my mouth and little else. I could not find one ounce of “me” in that sterile, perfectly worded document.

I discarded the program, too, and here’s why: while I understand that it’s a good thing to have my spelling and punctuation proofed, I strongly resist the attempt to change my writing voice.

Every writer has their particular style. I write to touch people and encourage them. Rough and raw it may be, but if you get what I\’m saying from the emotion poured into my words, then it was for your benefit. Praise God! If I use a writing program that removes all of “me,” I may have a technically correct essay, but will it speak to my targeted audience?

My ultimate goal in writing is this: I want folks to know they aren’t alone, that someone is going through the same situation, and mostly I want them to know that God is smack dab in the middle of the fray, and He’s on our side. (the writing program wouldn’t like “smack dab.” *wink*)

Have a good day, my friends.

As it may be for many Christians, Holy Week is my time to focus on Jesus’ sacrifice. I spend this week listening to my favorite musicians sing of the wonder of that glorious morning and reading again the Scripture accounts.

In my day, the music of Dallas Holm, Sandi Patty, and Don Francisco filled our home during Holy Week. If you’ve never listened to Dallas’ cd, His Last Days, your soul will thank you for doing so. I pondered the questions posed by Jesus to His disciples, “Do you believe in Me, and in the words I say?” Good questions. I mourned the torture Jesus endured; and I grieved His death. Dallas’ cd ended with Rise Again (seriously, listen to this cd!), and grief dissipated as I celebrated the joy of what was coming early Sunday morning.

Though the actual events occurred two thousand years ago, each Easter I observe them anew. It is a ritual observed to remain focused on Jesus and what He did for me. As is my habit, I bound out of bed and watch the sunrise. Our children now have their own families, and I don’t know how they celebrate the resurrection. Our immediate household will once again celebrate Easter Sunday morning with our old favorites, like this one from Sandi Patty.

How about you? How do you celebrate the week between Palm Sunday and Resurrection morning? Sunday\’s coming.

Shout it in the streets… He is risen! He is risen, indeed! Hallelujah.

In a church that Dave pastored, one deacon was a kindly older gentleman. He was always respectful in his conversation, and he supported Dave’s ministry at the church. I don’t recall ever hearing him speak an unfriendly word, even in our sometimes loud and vocal business meetings.

I became friends with this man’s daughter. We had lunch, went to conferences, shopped together–the things friends do. One day, over lunch, I mentioned how much I admired her father and how kind he was to our family. What happened next sent shock waves through me.

My friend’s face melted.

I watched as her face went from happy and smiling, to a total meltdown of grief, anger, and tears. Not sure why what I said had caused such a reaction, I kept silent and give her time to compose herself.

“If you really knew my father,” she bit out, “you wouldn’t say that. My father is the most cruel, vile, ungodly man I have ever known.”

Wait, now, what?

As I sat in shock, staring wide-eyed at her, she continued, “He treats my mother like garbage, constantly belittling her, storming past her when he comes in the house without the first word. More than once he’s thrown his dinner plate across the room because something on it didn’t sit right with him. He is an angry, angry man, and I almost hate him. And he treats me with the same contempt, as if he’s angry at my existence.”

I apologized–for what she was feeling, for not knowing, for her mother’s pain. Lifting her hand to silence me, she reminded me I was not the one who had caused all the pain, and I did not need to apologize, that she just wanted me to know that what I saw was not real–that her father was not the man inside that he showed the world.

I learned two lessons from that encounter.

First, I learned we don’t know the heart of a person. This man who had made such a positive impression on me was not at all the man he portrayed. I don’t know what had caused his angry responses to life, but the people who were the closest to him saw a hypocrite—a man who was evil in one setting and fake in another.

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)

Does God see the same person the world sees? Do the people who should receive the best of you get shorted, while those on the periphery get a fraud who is trying to keep them from knowing who you really are? While I understand that the root of bitterness can grow in our hearts because of misdeeds against us, we should deal with life responses according to God’s Word and not based on how others treat you. The temptation to hurt others because others hurt you is great, BUT GOD… He is bigger than all hurts, bigger than our personality bent, and bigger than any reason we have to behave ungodly. Do you have unresolved anger and bitterness? I’m so sorry for your pain. Please call someone today who can help you give that over to God and allow Him to begin the healing process.

I also learned that we don’t know the pain in the soul of a person. As Christians, we should be ready at all times to offer comfort when we learn of another person’s hurt. Eventually, I got around to saying the right words–I’m so sorry for your grief and anger; I am here if you want to talk about this; can we pray right now that God will help ease some of this pain you are experiencing? These precious, aching souls will cross our paths, and it’s important to offer a comforting word, hug, or prayer.

What’s inside of you? Are you in pain? Does life just get overwhelming sometimes until you can no longer hide and the words spoken into your pain blow your facade apart? Do you have a friend you can call right this moment and let them help you through whatever is hurting you? Call them. I am praying for you at this moment.