Category: Posts

Real Life

\”The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one\’s \’own\’, or \’real\’ life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one\’s real life–the life God is sending one day by day: what one calls one\’s \’real life\’ is a phantom of one\’s own imagination.\” -C. S. Lewis, 1943

The Comfort of God

\”The problem with God isn’t that He has been tried and found wanting, it is that He has been wanting to be tried.  People who could find all of the peace, solace and strength they could ever need and more hit bottom because they refuse to ask God for the help He willingly and lovingly offers.\” – Jerry Godsey, Third Option Men (posted on www.claudettewood.com)

Over the years God has grown me through various trials. It\’s no secret that trials aren\’t fun, even when you have the assurance that with God\’s leading you will come out the other side. It has taken a while to sink in, but I am finally learning that God is not my final option; He should always be the first one to hear the voice of my struggle.
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The Weight of Tearlessness

I have read a couple of great blog posts from friends the last couple of days. Both spoke about the need to face our struggles and rely on God to help us. One friend jokingly said, \”If only there were calories in tears.\” I responded to her, \”Tears take a different sort of weight off.\” As I have thought about that today, I\’ve realized that where I encourage others to have a good cry every now and then, I don\’t really take my own advice.

Sometimes I feel that if I began to cry over some of the things my life has experienced I might never stop. It\’s a strong woman image thing, and it\’s very likely the cause of many a strong woman falling ill due to keeping it all inside. I\’m not sure of all the ramifications of being \”strong\” that way, but I do know one thing about holding back the tears: eventually they turn into molten lava. The body churns, the mind thinks unlikely things, and anger takes over. And when you blow, you spew hateful and caustic words all over your victim. Who you were disappears behind bitterness and distrust.

If you are lucky, you\’ll notice what you are doing and repent. If you don\’t ever notice it, you will become a little old lady, walking down an empty hallway because folks saw you coming and decided to get out of your way so as not to become your next victim. Or you sit in your home alone, mad at a world that you feel has forgotten you, feeding on your bitterness and never realizing you are the reason no one comes to see you anymore. Sad.

I\’ve often said I would like to find a nice quiet spot all by myself, where I could cry as loud and as long as I\’d like without having to explain to anyone why I am crying. A place where no one would have to see me and wonder what\’s wrong with me and want to help me. A place of knowing that the time to ask for help will come, but first the weight of long-checked tears must be lifted.

Once emptied of all that weight the soul finds room for the help of others. God finally has room to move around and make His repairs. It\’s a long process, I imagine. We strong women didn\’t get broke overnight, after all. We became strong to be something different than what our past (or present) dictates. We built our fortresses one \”brick\” at a time. We filled in all the gaps, determined to avoid letting whatever it was that hurt us in the first place ever hurt us again.

Then God….

Then God spoke to us through His Word. Or He sent someone into our lives who recognized the \”wall\” and gently pushed against it and dared to climb that wall and reach over with their love. Just as likely, a  moment happened that caused us to fall apart and our family intervened. Whatever the catalyst, God showed up, and healing began to take place.

The first realization of healing can cause a momentary relief and even a sort of euphoria. I have also found that healing isn\’t often an immediate event. Although, one great side effect of the beginning of the healing process is hope, in that we realize we don\’t have to continue in pain; there is a way out.

Unless it was an instant miracle, God is going to continue to \”grow\” us through the healing process. At times, we are going to want to push back behind our wall; after all, it\’s safe there. No one knows what our hearts are shouting. We veil our eyes to hide the truth as we tell the world we are okay.

It\’s embarrassing for a strong woman to cry in front of people about the pain of her life. It makes her feel weak. We don\’t like that feeling. So we do whatever we have to do to avoid crying, even going so far as to lie to those who love us as we swallow the bitter pill over and over and continue to cement our hearts behind the wall.

Before I get a whole bunch of comments from my dear friends who know me well, let me say this–strong women do cry, sometimes a lot. We cry over sweet little babies, sappy movies, sad books. That is a totally different type of crying, and it doesn\’t normally shame us to do that in front of people.

The kind of crying we don\’t want you to see involves loud anguished sobs, wailing, screaming, groveling. For that, we will need a mountain top, a lone cabin, and several days.

Yes, crying is a great method for weight loss. It removes the burden from our hearts and takes a load off our minds. Please pray for us. When the moment comes that our faces crumble in grief and the wall comes down, just pray. And let us cry. Close the door very quietly on your way out; and if you would, please be waiting on the other side of that door when we open it. We\’ll need those arms.

This is What I Want (aka Pipe Dreams)

‎1. all news stations are biased, and if you don\’t believe that, then your eyes are not open

2. every politician lies, otherwise NO ONE would ever be elected based on what they really plan to do when they get in office (point in case–every president, congressman, senator, governor, etc., that this country has ever had)

3. good leadership makes a leader good

4. being a successful businessman should not be a negative, and since our government (all of whom we need to fire and start over) runs our country like a business, maybe we need someone who knows how to do that successfully

5. Romney is rich. Obama is also rich. They have \”portfolios.\” I have a portfolio, too–it holds all my bills i have to pay every month. when it\’s empty, i\’m broke. And also, WHAT IS WRONG WITH BEING RICH?

Here\’s my pipe dream…
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A Call to Christian Young Men

I chaperoned a recent trip taken by our church’s youth group and had the privilege of transporting two pre-teen boys in my car. One of the boys was my grandson, and the other was the son of one of our church men, who is a good ol’ boy and fine Christian man. From the conversations we had for those many hours we traveled, it became apparent that this youth considers his dad to be his hero; in fact, he said as much. The dad is a hard-working man, doing whatever he needs to do to take care of his family. Some of the information I learned about this man’s care for his family led me to the understanding that he is a true warrior for them. And I am happy this young man understands the value of his dad and appreciates him.

As I listened to the discussion, however, I have to admit I felt a twinge of sadness for my grandson, sitting in that car listening to this kid idolize his dad. Our daughter is a single mother, raising three young boys. They currently live with us, while their mom saves for their own home. These boys represent for me a generation abandoned by their birth fathers and who are many times left to their own devices.
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Senior Moments

Mama noticed that Shelton had left his phone on the table when he went outside the other day. It\’s how they communicate with one another, so she decided she would call him and let him know his phone was in the house.

… wait, it gets better…

Shelton didn\’t answer the first time, so she called him a second time, during which time she realized she was calling the phone on the table.

A few minutes later Shelton came in. Mama was going to tell him what she\’d done, so she said, \”I tried to call you…\” he cut her off and said, \”I didn\’t hear the phone ring.\”

#stilllaughing

Breakthrough!

She came downstairs, rubbing her eyes and yawning into the new morning. We met in the kitchen, and she said, “Mom, I keep having this recurring nightmare. It’s just awful. I want it to stop.”

“Can you tell me about it?” I asked. My antenna had gone up at the word recurring. I was really curious to hear what it was that her mind continued to play over and over as she slept.

Her first response was that she didn’t want to talk about it; too depressing. Then she just couldn’t help herself, I guess, and out it all came.
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Sunday Sunday

Here we are the beginning of another week. We are already almost finished with January. Can you believe it? This past week was not without its drama, but by now, my life would seem so meaningless if we didn\’t have some drama, you know?

Started out great. Jenni began her new job on Monday. She had been sick all weekend and rested as much as possible. Loaded herself up with medicine and headed out. I didn\’t work Monday, and the boys were out of school, so we hung out at the house.

Other than working out some afternoon details for the boys, we had it mostly figured out. Jenn seems to like the job, and it appears the other workers there like her.

Wednesday, Jenni ended up in the emergency room after describing symptoms that sounded very much like an aneurism in her head. Scary. He dad took her to Prime Care and then to the ER. That was about 3:30 in the afternoon. They got back home at 11:30 that night. Her cold from the weekend had become acute viral sinusitis, which caused her to experience a migraine headache. They gave her meds through an IV to take care of the headache, but told her she\’d just have to load up on ibuprofen for the viral infection. She called her job and they let her come in late the next day. It appears her job is not in any danger. For this we thank God.

She still feels a little punk, but she\’s a trooper–keeps on moving forward. I\’m proud of her.

****

Saturday, I spent the day washing clothes and doing some much-needed mending. That was actually fun. No, really. It was. I love being able to be in my house and get stuff done, and I\’ve been needing to get that mending done for a while now.

Didn\’t get my nap today. After church, I had to get ready for a training session for the jail volunteers who work with our ministry. That kept me out of the house until 5 or so. Too late to take a nap. So I\’ll hang out and watch football for a little bit and then I\’ll just turn in early.

I know. Ho hum. But this is my life.

So what good can I accomplish this week? What sort of impression will I make? What witness will I leave with folks? Stay tuned.

Today, Life is Good

I know, I know, life is always good. And you would be right to say so. I believe this.

But this day–today–is especially good. On this day, I have both of our children in our home. Josh and Mel are down visiting from the beautiful state of Pennsylvania; and Jenni, who is my precious girl, is here as well. Well, actually, Jenni and the boys live with us, so she\’s always here with me. And a blessing to have, I tell you. She knows how to get it done. So it\’s going to be a great weekend.

For the last nine months or so, Jenni has been without a job. She had a part-time thing that ended and then just couldn\’t find anything else. She was also in school at the technical college and taking care of her three boys. Lots of responsibility for a single mom–the same that many other single moms do every day. The good news in her life these days is this–in December she completed her studies in Accounting and will receive her Associates degree at her graduation in May 2012. She is rightly proud of herself for having accomplished this goal.

Then, just last week, she spent a day filling out job applications online. She called and told me she had sent out 13 of them. And within an hour of doing so, she had a phone call and an interview set up with one of the companies the very next day! After her SECOND interview with this company, she came to my work very excited and told me how hopeful it all sounded.

Then the waiting. Two days passed with no phone call. At one time I suggested that she might call them to check on their progress. She didn\’t want to do that, and after a moment\’s reflection, I realized we just had to let this be God\’s timing for it to be right. \”When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul.\” (Psalm 94:18-20). So we waited some more; this time with a greater peace that God would handle it.

Yesterday, Friday the 13th, the call came, with the offer of a job. This is not a part-time job–this is a full fledged FULL-TIME, MONDAY THROUGH FRIDAY, with BENEFITS job! We haven\’t stopped rejoicing.

God has taken care of us so faithfully. He is our Great Comforter and Provider. Blessed be His Name.

And even if this job had not worked out, the same is true about God even then. I may not always understand why we wait so long for things (humanly speaking), but I know that God will ultimately provide. His timing is perfect, perfect, perfect.

Have a good day, my friends.

(Oh, and about that 13th thing, I\’m not even close to superstitious. Folks would say that 13 is an unlucky number. Thirteen is just a number. For us, it was just a good old day!)